Not in High School

Have you ever had someone just contact you out of the blue and ask you a very personal question?

I had that happen yesterday. Some chick sent me a message in Facebook asking me when that last time I saw Jim. Oh and that she was "just curious". Yeah right "just curious". I knew it was a loaded question.

I told her that I sometimes chat with him. She then asked me when the last time I was "with him". Wow!! What a loaded question!!!! She then told me that she was involved with him and that she had heard that he and I "hook up". She just wanted to be sure it was not while they were together. Well the funny thing is that I had chatted with the guy several days prior about hooking up and he did not mention that he had a girlfriend! After she contacted me I called him - well I guess he actually does not have a girlfriend but it is someone who is married and unhappy and wants to be with him. He told me that yes they have slept together but he said he told her it was not happening while she was still married.

So I want to know why in the hell is she asking me anything.

Then she gets mad at me because I asked who told her about me and him. She calls me a gossip. Well she is reacting to gossip. I am just trying to figure out what the hell is going on. I just want to be left alone.

He tells me that a specific male told her and she says that some unnamed female told her. Well which one is telling the truth.

I personally think she needs to get her life in order, stand on her own feet, take care of her kids, get a divorce and then think about getting involved with someone. Until then she is just asking for disaster and more heartbreak.

I just want to be left out of it. I hooked up with the guy twice over the course of 10 months. The last was 7 months ago. Why again am I being dragged into this???? Geez....

Sheep and Family

The other day lil cousin Brooke (in the pink) sent me an im in facebook asking me if I would come to the fair and watch them show their sheep. I was really happy that they asked me to be there so I said yes.

This morning I got up at 6 am - far too early for me - and drove 2 hours to Fowlerville, MI. The trip had some adventure to it - I stopped at McDonald's in Zeeland and ordered hotcakes and sausage. I like to butter the pancakes and cut the sausage up and roll it in the pancake. I pull off to the side of the road and opened the bag and no utensils - WTF - how am I suppose to butter the pancakes or cut my sausage. Went back thru the drive-thru real quick and got what I needed.

Read a Book

I forgot to blog yesterday! I tried a novel concept of actually walking away from my computer and sewing machine. I let myself escape from the tractor beam that is my computer - not easy to do. I not only walked away - I actually logged out!!

I let myself finally read the new book by Janet Evanovich - Sizzling 16 - it was a decent Stephanie Plum yarn. I loved "Step, stomp, step, stomp, step, stomp." Really reminded me of when I had the walking cast on my foot. LOL.

I even started another book last night "Dead over Heals" by Charlaine Harris. Love her stuff.

I think it really helped me that I opened up the windows and doors for a while yesterday and let some fresh air in - it is too humid today to do that though. Maybe I will set out on my porch this evening and read some. It was a very pleasant thing to do last night - that is until my neighbor started to mow his backyard. :)

Tea Time

It is in one of the Douglas Adam's books that refers to Sundays as "the long dark teatime of the soul". I can never remember which book but I looked it up and it was - Life, The Universe and Everything.

I feel like I have had a weekend like a Sunday afternoon that never ends. It has been a long and annoying weekend. Nothing has seemed to make me happy. I cried a big chunk of Saturday. The rest of the weekend I have been uninspired and felt like I needed to get out and run screaming down the road.

I did not have a show this weekend so there really was little reason to go anywhere. I did get out for a bit on Saturday which probably helped in the big picture.

I would say that maybe I will go to the beach tomorrow but I probably won't. I need to let myself take the time to read "Sizzling 16" by Janet Evanovich.

Tears

I feel like shit - I can't stop crying.

I have been holding onto the fact that Lee still had me as a contact in Skype and now it looks like he has gotten rid of it. It just makes me horribly sad. It feels like he will never contact me now. It is breaking my heart. I have held out hope and been so optimistic and understanding. It could still be a Skype glitch. I think it is somewhat unstable.

Then again it looks like he was doing stuff in facebook again - like he was further shutting it down. That he was deleting friends in it again. I just don't understand it.

I think the other problem is that I have been at home most of the week and getting antsy. I am suppose to get my hair cut in about an hour and a half and I just hope I can stop crying to get there at least.

My Gma

I have been trying to figure out tonight why I have been feeling for lack of a better word - twisty. Just kinda unsure of how I am feeling and why.

I called my Mom and asked her what day Grandma died. She said the 16th. I go - oh that is today.

The picture is of my Mom - Karen and of my Grandma - Gail. It was taken at a Pizza Hut not to far from the facility my Grandma was in. The good thing is that my aunt Nancy was the controller at the nursing home so she was able to check on Grandma everyday. My grandma had dementia - she was in part of the facility called - Golden Meadows - or some such shit of a name. My grandma basically referred to it as prison. They had to put her there after it just became too hard for all of the sisters to care for her. She was better off in a sense being where there were trained people 24/7 to be there for her.

I lived in Cuyahoga Falls, OH at the time - about 4 hours away but I did try to get there as often as possible to see her. Not easy but I loved her so dearly that I wanted to be with her. On her last day, I was not sure if I could get there in time so I stayed home and prayed. It was kind of interesting because I had decided to reupholster a chair - never had done one before - but I had seen my grandma and my aunt Delores do it a bunch of times. In a way, I was doing what I had learned from my grandma - I did it to be close to her.

The morning after she passed - I sat in a big ugly Lazy Boy recliner - that had been my Grandpa's - I got it when Grandma was moved to Michigan from Florida and no one wanted it - I said I will take it. There is actually more to it than this but I am not going to go into that at this point.

I sat in that big orange reupholstered recliner and thought about my Grandma and my Grandpa. I started to write my feelings down. I was later allowed to read it at her memorial service. I was the only one to get up and say anything besides the pastor. I had everyone balling. I looked up at one point while reading and locked eyes with my cousin Terry and almost lost it myself.

I was later told that it helped people remember stuff - like the aluminum glasses we would drink out of at her house or the bottles of colored water in her windows of the kitchen at her house on Willow Way in Michigan.

My sewing business is a tribute to her - I really started to sew a lot more after she passed. I was trying to feel closer to her and that is how I did it - my Grandma was always sewing - she had an alterations business for many years out of her house in Barefoot Bay FL.

I was so lucky to have been her granddaughter. I was lucky to have a grandma that was loving and kind, funny, honest, caring, did not pass judgment, loved us for who we were as individuals, affectionate, was just great to hang out with.

Love you Grandma so very much. I still tear up - just as I am now - I miss you so bad. Thank you for being so wonderful!!! I know you are now in Heaven with Grandpa and Bobby - and everyone else we have loved. Keep watch over us - I hope we all still make you smile :)

WTF

I have been trying to post something everyday. I have been setting here trying to think of something to post. Nothing really profound comes to mind. So let's go with the randomness of it all.

Randomness begins here:
Why is Mafia Wars such an addictive game? Not like anything moves or any action. I guess it must be the strategic side of it. I also do so love pounding the shit out of others in fights. Also, it is a great social game.

When my sewing machine did not want to work earlier - why did it take me 5 minutes to check if I had plugged in the right cord. Amazing how things work when they are actually plugged in!!! I am such a dumb ass sometimes.

I was strangely compelled to watch the House marathon on USA today.

I swept my sewing room today - there was so much dust and threads everywhere - amazing what not sweeping my work space for a few weeks can do. I even vacuumed the tv set - a lovely thick layer or dust from the fabric was all over everything. I often wonder what my poor lungs look like.

I love to watch Top Chef. Not that I would actually eat most of what they make but it just fascinates me. I love the marathons on Bravo. For that matter, I love marathons of my favorite shows.

I hope when I tell myself that Lee will get a hold of me soon that I am not just lying to myself. I think the probability of him getting a hold of me is greater than the probability of him blowing me off. But then again - I did flunk Stats 315 the first time through. I did however get a 3.0 on my second try and got a 3.0 for Stats 317 - on the first try may I add!!!

I am glad that the U2 concert was finally rescheduled - not so happy that it is not until June 26, 2011. What if Bono breaks a hip between now and then - I mean the man is getting old. Hurt his back this year - I think his bones are getting brittle. Bono - may I call you Paul - Paul drink some milk - it does the body good - or at least that is what they tell us!!! Put down the pint of Guinness.

There is a lot more stuff bouncing around inside of my head but I think this is enough to share for now!!